It’s kind of
surreal that this once dreaded thing is over and I’m sitting here a week
post-op one huge step closer to having a baby! I freaking did it!!!
The surgery
itself went divinely well, my doctors couldn’t have been more pleased and from
the moment I got to the hospital to the time I was discharged the next day, it
was a really sweet and redemptive experience. What I can remember of it
anyway….I had a lot of narcotics running through my IV :)
We arrived at the hospital in Red Bank, NJ at 5:15 A.M. for
my scheduled surgery at 7:30. I didn’t sleep a wink that night, just The Office
re-runs while I baby sat the clock and prayed for time to move faster.
Everything moved pretty quickly once we arrived. But before
I was wheeled off to the operating room, Ryan prayed softly in my ear, his face
snuggled up to mine and he thanked me for doing this for him and for our
family. He told me how proud he was of me and that soon, because of my
sacrifice, we would have a baby. I cried. He said everything my heart needed to
hear, and I felt like I was able to give my husband a child, even if I couldn’t
carry it myself. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have him by my side.
I woke up hours later and immediately looked down at my
abdomen anxious to see my incision. It turned out they couldn’t do the surgery
laparoscopically, so they ended up making one large cut at the base of my
pelvis, in the same place one would be operated on for a C-section.
Shortly after I was wheeled one floor up to an available
room in post partum. I was so excited to be spending the night there with the
sound of babies crying echoing in the hallways and found my assigned resting
place incredibly appropriate for the occasion. Ryan and my aunt were there
waiting for me and I’ll never forget the look on his face as I was carted in; beaming
with pride…
 |
| View from my room |
After a choppy nights sleep filled with pain and a nurse
coming in to check my vitals every few hours, I was discharged early afternoon
the next day and we headed home!
I sooo wish I could stop here and say that recovery has been
a breeze and I’m back living normal life again, but truth is, things got pretty
hairy later that night.
I had resumed eating a semi-normal diet that morning after
nothing but clear liquids the day before. I felt close to no nausea and
although before I left the hospital my nurse listened to my intestines and said
they seemed “a little slow,” she didn’t think much of it and either did I. That
night at home I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. I dreaded even the
thought of it and hoped for a false alarm. I never throw up….It had been 10
years at least since the last time it happened. But sure enough, up came
everything I had ate that day and I wailed between hurls and held my incision
as each release felt like the slice in my pelvis was going to burst open.
I sighed with relief once it was over and we figured it was
just a side effect of the anesthesia, which is common. Three hours later it
happened again, fiercely, and every 3 hours after that all through the night. I
was getting weaker and weaker, and couldn’t even keep water down. I felt and
looked severely dehydrated and we knew I would need to get back to the hospital
for an IV.
Our doctor recommended we try and get back to the Red Bank,
NJ emergency room, so I braved the hour long car ride with a bowl in my lap and
made it there without incident.
When we arrived I was on my last leg, I didn’t have an ounce
of energy left in me and felt like I was on the verge of both throwing up and
passing out…simultaneously. The ER staff was slow to get me help, even after
several persistent and strong attempts from my dear husband, and at some
point…I just lost it.
First there were tears and then intense hyperventilation
coupled with severe dehydration, tachycardia, and electrolyte imbalance and
next thing I knew my body starting reacting to the drop in carbon dioxide and
rise in blood PH from my over breathing in the scariest, most intense
sensations I had ever experienced in my life. At that point I was screaming
profanities at the top of my lungs, under the sincere impression that I was dyeing.
I had no idea that the electrifying vibrations running through my body, carpopedal spasms in my hands, feet, and face leaving me, what I thought to be paralyzed, and the
invisible elephant sitting on my ribs was a reaction to my labored breathing
and lack of fluids. My arms were contorted like chicken wings and face drooped around my mouth. I had never experienced anything like it in my life.
Once I got vocal and starting
exhibiting symptoms, I finally got some help. They rushed me to a bed and had
me hooked up to several screens, heart monitors, an IV, and oxygen within 60
seconds.
I won’t speak much to the rest of
the time I spent in that room. It was such a surreal and very personal experience
that I am still trying to process and understand. I will say that it’s really
strange the things you think of when you believe you are dyeing; scene from
Fight Club, California coast line, me jogging with a double stroller filled
with twins…I wish I could say I had an overwhelming peace and imagined Jesus welcoming me into His kingdom, but I didn't. This scene was raw, messy, and unrestrained, and only later did my soul begin to sing the sweet songs that have carried me through many perils past. I wish it didn't go that way, but it did.
I was stable in minutes, but the symptoms
carried on for a while after. Hours later I was hydrated and feeling back to
normal physically, but very emotional from what I had experienced. The next
step was figuring out the root of what got me there in the first place: my
uncontrolled vomiting. I was sent in for x-rays and CAT scans of my abdomen,
all of which came back normal. My doctor later explained that my intestines had
just not “waken up” yet from surgery and were not contracting or able to push
food down, also known as Ileus.
I stayed a night in the hospital
unable to take anything by mouth and was discharged the next day with the
instructions to stay on a clear liquids diet for 2 days and slowly progress
from there to juices, broths, pureed foods, and then easily digestible solids.
And no pain meds, as this would exasperate the problem. That was 7 days ago.
Recovery has been long and hard.
I have now progressed to eating steamed veggies, soup, and crème of rice. I
haven’t seen the sky in a week and have spent 98% of my time in bed. BUT… I am
getting stronger and able to do more everyday, my incision looks great and the
pain is very manageable. I am blessed.
Whew…that was not fun to write
and I almost didn’t do it. Mostly because I’m grumpy haha….but this happened
and once I’m up walking around again and eating hamburgers I will be able to
fully rejoice in the fact that this part of our journey is over and we can move
on to exciting new steps ahead!
