The Glow

I know they’re many things I wont get to experience as an expecting mother. The complete strangers smiling at me for no reason and offering to carry my groceries. The perfect homegrown accessory to just about any ensemble, and the dreamy maternity photos I have always imagined. The no heavy lifting, binge eating, and belly rubs. The glow…

I mean you can get out of and get away with just about anything when you’re pregnant! I will miss that. Because I like getting out of and getting away with stuff (ask my husband haha).

But before announcing our news, I feared that I would also miss out on experiencing others share in our excitement and joy. It sounds silly now as I write this, but it was a real burden I carried. I didn’t know how you would react or if we would receive the same kind of response to a baby announcement that is seen and expected under “normal” circumstances (for lack of a better word). I have never done this before and I don’t know anyone who has. But that fear (along with many others) was destroyed, obliterated, and erased as I received the most beautiful outpouring of love from all of you after sharing my last post. I didn’t know what to expect. I was scared. But you shared in our joy. We are not even pregnant yet and you showered us with so much support and love!! Some of you I have never even met. I was literally in tears as I read through your comments on Facebook and Instagram and I snapped pictures of the texts you sent me to look back on and read again and again.  

So thank you.

 For healing another piece of my heart, rooting us on, and walking with us through this journey. I now know that while I may miss out on some things…our baby will be anticipated and welcomed with more joy and excitement from all of you than I could have ever imagined.

I also think that when the time has come and our baby is growing inside of our dear friends tummy and our hearts, I’m still going to rock the maxi dresses and big hats, make unreasonable demands for foods I’m craving, decline to lift those boxes, and feel justified in flaking out and flighty emotions. Because…why not?!

And the glow…. I love the movie “What to Expect when you’re Expecting” and the scene when Elizabeth Banks (Wendy) holds her baby boy for the first time after a very unglamorous pregnancy filled with back acne, gas, and emotional outbursts. She looks at him in a groggy haze and says, “He’s my glow, he’s my perfect, perfect glow.” She had been waiting for this ambiguous crown to grace her for her whole pregnancy, but she ended up finding it in him. His existence is what exploded and rearranged her heart so that she carried more love inside of her than she ever knew possible. And isn’t that just it? "The glow" is the maternal love shining through us for the little we anticipate nurturing. I will have that. This I’m sure of.