This week has been really exciting as we began the next big
step in our journey-ovarian stimulation!
A few weeks ago I received a huge box in the mail full of
gaudy looking syringes, tiny bottles of powdered hormones, a biohazard box, and
lots of directions that read like Russian. I was overwhelmed. But after our
training appointment, I felt so much more at ease and my scary foreign box
suddenly became manageable. A seasoned friend recommended we record the whole
training on our phone so we could play it back at home if we got confused, and
that proved to be a huge help- even though our nurse was embarrassed that we
filmed her :)
The first night of injections was a little intimidating. I
am not particularly afraid of needles, I’ve been poked more times than a pin
cushion and in my yonder years jammed a few safety pins through various parts
of my body for esthetic purposes, but operating a syringe was a new one for me.
More than that, I carried some anxiety about the potential side effects the
hormones would have on me. I am exceptionally sensitive to medication- I once
took a Tylenol P.M. and manically paced around my house for hours convinced I
was on the verge of a system fail… and my stimulation process was supposed to
begin with 10 days of birth control to rest the ovaries and dissolve any
existing cysts…but just one pill made me nauseated with stomach cramps so my
doc let me skip that phase. Which is awesome except that I had to get a cyst on my ovary aspirated. That sucked. straight up needle through my vaginal wall- and that's all I'll say about that...
I was told my lower stomach (below my belly button), or the
back of my thigh would be my best options. After watching Ryan blend me a hefty
cocktail of Gonal-f and Menopur divided into 2 syringes, I mustered up some courage
and slowly slid the half-inch needle through my tummy and pushed the cool
liquid through my pinched skin. It ended up not being nearly as bad as I expected, so I was met
with a wave of relief and the kind encouraging eyes of my sweet husband as
he said “good job babe! You’re so brave!” Ryan despises needles, so to him, I
look like a base jumper :)
This has become our routine every night around 7 p.m. Ryan
mixes as I sit and watch. We chat and he stands by as I inject, and I’ve
actually come to look forward to this time we have together.
So far I have only experienced minor side effects that have
been unpleasant, but very manageable, and I am thrilled. It’s also hard to know
what is a direct effect of the hormones and what is happenstance, but my main
symptoms have been, tension headaches, slight nausea, sensitive stomach, abdominal
pain, and twinges on and around my ovaries. And let’s not forget…emotional!
I’ve cried a lot the last few days, and I know this is just the beginning,
because this is an emotional journey, in every sense of the word.I know
there are parts of it that I will work through in layers. There will be moments
of sadness, disappointment, failed expectations, and frustration. I have
experienced all of these this week, deeply. But I know…I KNOW…. That what I am
sowing in tears I will reap in joy. I am in need of copious amounts of grace to let go of the things I can't control and trust God with my hurts and the many unknowns that await us. All that to say, we are getting closer! And our biggest
adventure awaits us.
My next appointment is on Monday for blood work and an
ultrasound to see how my follicles are developing and if everything is
progressing nicely, we can expect egg retrieval to be on or around the 28th
of this month. Umm…that’s like next weekend!!! So excited :)
A few of my favorite texts from a few of my favorite people-one's I read again and again.
My thoughts are with you on this incredibly emotional journey!
ReplyDeletethank you!! xx
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